Friday, April 27, 2012

I Don't Love It

"I don't love it as much as I thought I would." I got this response to a submission. And it's not the first time either, so I'm going to have to rant.  What does this sentence convey to you?  If you are like most people, it conveys nothing.  It hints that there is some indefinable problem with the work, but doesn't provide even a clue as to what that might be.  As a writer, it is a death sentence.  We live, breathe and gluttonously consume constructive criticism.  We sign up for conferences, pay for editorial services and make family, friends and random strangers read our work.  Are we masochists?  Yes.  But we are also dreamers, searching for that Xanadu of feedback.  It is a noble quest.  Yet many search and few receive.  Instead, we get responses like the one above.

So, I'm thinking of changing the main character's name from Robert to Bob because it seems more approachable.  Is that enough to make you love it as much as you thought you would?  Or how about I add in some extraneous sex scenes.  They don't advance the plot and they're not well written, but who doesn't like a good sex scene?  Or I could stick in a boy wizard and add a thousand pages.  And maybe a smoldering vampire.  Or a girl who likes archery and is too smart to kill.  That's it!  And I'll set it in Mississippi in the 1960's and England in the 1980's, skipping forward on the same day each year.  Or perhaps I'll throw them all together with a passel of erudite witches.  And then, when I've massacred the style, and beat the plot into submission and changed every character into something resembling a character in a book that has sold millions, I'm sure you'll love it as much as you thought you would.

No, thanks.

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